Hyde Park Irregulars

Hyde Park Irregulars

LIVERPOOL!!!!EURO CHAMPIONS of the moment. Let's not forget that.. and of course the, to be crowned, Euro Champions this season the mighty Benfica!!! So I propose a change of name from Hyde Park Irregulars to Liverfica FC.

OK lads when is Monday night footie back on down the Hyde of the Park? Due to floodlights not yet being ready we still have plenty of daylight until 7.30-8ish... is that not enough time...?

Come out Liverfica FC and show us your skill and flair.

Evil Crows Stalk London Parks

Kids, be careful:
Attack Crows.
Aerial bombardment, eh!

Monday 23rd May

A chance to hear of our heroics last Monday and to stretch those legs once again in the name of Football and Liberty.

After the amazing 'one touch' and 'pass and go football' exhibited in one of the most competitive impromptu matches this year Monday 23rd promises to be a belter.

As before we will be meeting from 6pm-6.30pm at Speakers Corner but may move to a pitch nearby with slightly less divots in the pitch. Keep an eye out for my Leyton Orient top, Slugs Leeds top and various lower league tops. If you need mobile numbers if you think you will arrive late I will put together a list.

So see you there, for football, liberty and winning by the odd goal.

HPI Service Medals

It gives me great honour to award the following

Paul Barnard
Andrew 'Slug' Slegg
Jon Wilson
Bryan Hamilton
Dan Keefe
Simon Peters
Bruce Connal

the Hyde Park Irregulars Service Medal for valour and determination in the face
of quite overcast weather. Each turned up and fought like lions to defeat the
Fat Lads who Looked Quite Aggressive but Turned Out to be Really Nice F.C. In
the future your kids will ask you where were you on May 16th ... what will you
say, I was watching Celebrity Love Island hoping Abi Titmuss would do something.
The awards will be given out at the forthcoming end of season awards ceremony.

Bruce (HPI Player of the season 2004)

PS Did Abi Titmuss do anything?


thanks bruce i feel deeply honoured to be in receipt of this award.
Can i also suggest a special man of the match award for the sluggster for his powerful physical performance, (particulary in the upper body department) in man marking their biggest, most skillful and hardest looking player out of the game thereby allowing the rest of us the space and time to develop our pass and move tactics to maximum effect. He may not score many goals (er... or any) but his value to the team cannot be under emphasised, the phrase massive contribution springs to mind. His performance this week in particular evoked memories of the legendary leeds defensive leviathan david wetherall at his peak...need i say more.

respectfully yours
wing commander peters

The Turning Point

The Turning Point

'19-8' down ? Shit , What can I do to turn this one round ? If we could
only get one back now , it'd be the turning point we desperately need .
So I made that 70 yard run into the box , shouting for that killer ball
to be delivered . I gives Connal the Barbarian the eyes and for the
umpteenth time in the match , I lose the clumsy oaf . So then i looks up
and the cultured right foot of Greggy Sherringham has floated the
perfect ball towards me , a deft flick of the head and it's Wembley 1972
and David Coleman's voice is echoing round the Park " SLEGG . 1-0 . "(
or 19-9 ) . Suddenly there's Leeds fans swarming all over the pitch and
all over London and the south-east . I come . I'm lifted up on their
shoulders and triumphantly carried down Park Lane and up on to the top
of Marble Arch from where I orchestrate the massed Leeds fans in
choruses of "We are Leeds" and in the playing of bingo and carpet bowls
and . RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING ... Bollocks , 7pm , time
to get up . How did we get on last night ? Lost 25-9 .
(BUT , we only lost the next match 2-0 . So we are obviously at our best
in the first to 2 games . Good )

7.30 start Jon ??? You're avin a Garth (Crooks) aren't ya . What ya doin
? Flying back from Rio ? Got a Tantastic top-up session booked ? Me ,
Paul , Bestie , Marshie , Ossie , Frank Worthingtonie and Champagne
Charlie Nicholas are meeting up after work on Thursday and are drinking
all evening , all night , liquid breakfast at The Thomas a Becket dahn
the Old Kent Road then on to the Super Chandos from lunchtime ... Then
Simon , were doing a half marathon too ( but you fucked up there mate ,
because they're called Snickers now ).

... and about later Jon , the Tate Modern is open late on a Friday ...

... Lady-boy rickshaw taxis ? ...

... monkey-tennis ?...

Love & Leeds

Super 'Golden Boot' Slug

From the Mouths of Babes ....

Slug wrote:

HPI TERRACE TALK

THE MATCH BALL - I've Been thinking/fantasising a lot about Monday's
match ball : a thing of great beauty . It was firm but fair , eminently
manlychestdownable and threadable , putonasixpenceable yet enticingly
slidedownthechannelsable - whichever way you look at it , it's well
worth a big wank . Thanks to 'The Guns of Brixton' aka Bruce Bringer of
the Ball for sharing the glorious globe with us .

1922 COMMITTEE STAND IN THE WAY OF PROGRESS ( AGAIN )

Just when you think the 'KICK DINGY OLD PUBS OUT OF FOOTBALL' campaign
has successfully rid the game of tacky , soulless , commercial scum such
as The Eerie Pub Company boozers , the luddite extremist faction in the
HPIs , the HPI 1922 COMMITTEE , raise their ugly head again . In scenes
that we'd all hoped had left our post-match pub sessions , renowned
nutters 'Old Codger' Craig 'Didn't the Queen Mother have a lovely smile'
Smithy and Bruce ' You can't beat a good Royal Wedding street party '
Connal shamelessly poured forth their vitriolic anti-change bile . HPI
Youth Secretaries Springtime Slug & Paul Positive vowed to continue the
fight for a better pub for all in and around the Green Park tube area -
a pub where the light never goes out and the patio heaters work . When
asked for his views on a different pub Jon Globetrotter said , "What
sort of burgers do they do?" .

LEEDS UNITED THROUGH TO SEMI_FINALS OF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE

Super Leeds United saw a return to the Glory Years as they knocked out a
star-studded Juventes side last night . The great news for English
football is that an English club is now guaranteed a place in the final
as Leeds now face Huddersfield Town in the semi-finals .( Huddersfield
went through on Tuesday night when their quarter-final against Leyton
Orient had to be abandoned when a blonde-haired Boris Johnson
look-a-like kept throwing orange juice and lemonade bottles and Primark
Flares onto the pitch ). Tottenham are shit .

  
Love & Leeds


Hard Slog


x

Summer is Officially Here

After much debate at the latest meeting of the HPI Hard Core Council (heretofore known as the HCC), it was decided that, considering the position of the earth in relation to the sun, the earth on its axis, London in relation to its position on the planet surface, the requirements of farmers with regard to workable light, the historical influence of the measures taken to reduce the dangers of wartime bombing and indeed the earliness of Easter this year, summer is officially here and the Hyde Park Irregulars will revert to playing on Monday evenings as of the 4th April.

I repeat, winter is over and there will be no more games on Sundays. Furthermore, the HPI's will meet every week, rather than fortnightly.

The next game will be Monday 4th April, starting as soon as possible after 6pm, so we can get as much game in as possible.

The Met Office has been informed of our decision, and will be mentioning the changes on their official releases from now on!

20th March Hyde Park Footballapalooza

After the last match which my team definitely won the next game is on the 20th March, 11am Speakers Corner.

Keep Sundays special - football and alcohol its how God would of wanted it.

Sunday 6th - HPI

A good game was had by all, spoiled obviously by the twat who nicked Mark's Scooby Doo wallet - it doesn't normally happen, Mark, don't let one git put you off.

If someone wants to do the write up of the game, nice one - I'd do it myself but I think my own telling of the tale would differ dramatically from Bruce's, mainly about who actually won: how can he possibly say he and his turncoat brigade beat the honourable HPI's?

Anyway, some good football was played, and I for one thoroughly enjoyed myself.

If anyone's short of something to do on Thursday or Sunday, I'm reading in Islington at the Camden Head on the 10th and I'm launching my book at London Book Fair on Sunday. It's a fiver in on Thursday, while the launch is I don't know how much because I always get in for free. It's free if you fill in the form from the website on the ticket I gave to the lads in the pub. So anyway, I'll give the Hyde Park Irregulars a mention if you make an effort to get there.

suggestions

nice idea craig!
we're becoming more and more like a club rather than just a team! i bet you had this idea right from the start when it was just you and bruce but had to wait for the right time to launch it.
i have a few suggestions for additions to the site.

can we have spurs on the list of teams (obviously the others as well but don't really care how long it takes for those to appear) www.spurs.co.uk and www.mehstg.co.uk would be my 2 choices.

a list of the winnres of last seasons awards would be a nice section.........an edited version maybe.

i was going to suggest having trishas as our late night drinking venue of choice but not sure whether we should advertise that too widely. you have to be in the know to get in, think you have to earn the right to go here by your drinking stamina at socials.

love the site

paul

Next Game

Hello one and all

Next fixture is against Jumpers for Goalposts at 11am on Sunday 6th March at Hyde Park near Speakers Corner. After our last performance against JFG the tide is turning and if it hasnt we will just have to spend longer in the pub.

See you on Sunday

Bruce

Ooh, To Be A Hyde Park Irregular

Hi y'all

This is the Official Hyde Park Irregulars web site/blog, available to all. I thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to have one port of call for when each game and social is on, so no one falls off the mailing list if their email address changes or if hotmail are determined to prevent them playing football. Anyone can contribute to it.

There are 2 ways to add to the site:

1) Add a comment to an existing post. To do this, click on 'comment' at the end of the entry you want to comment on. (Sorry if this is stating the obvious, but remember Slug is reading this, too).

2) Add a new post. To do this, go to:

http://www.blogger.com

and log in using the magical user name and password:

User name: hydeparkirregulars
password: the word we use when someone leaves, aka self-abuser, the joke from Spinal Tap.

Then click on 'Hyde Park Irregulars' and 'Create New Post'. It's easy. Give it a try.

I don't know if this site is going to take off, but it hasn't taken more than a couple of minutes to put together so if it doesn't, no big deal.

Feel free to write what you want, but please be aware that however sensible your suggestion, you will have the piss taken out of you.

Craig